13 Nov 2013, 4:14 pm

        About Coffee by Tiamari

        Coffee Lovers, this is my opinion about the matter... Once you’'ve gotten used to proper coffee you can never settle for inferior brands again.

        I used to consider myself a mild coffeeholic. That was before I started visiting my friend Tony on a fairly regular basis and had a few cups of quality caffeine at his place. I soon found myself choosing the more expensive option in the supermarket and “throwing out the old” at home.

        That set the scene for a fair amount of discomfort in my social life. I would find myself visiting a friend, craving, and practically begging for a cup of coffee, only to leave it standing untouched on the coffee table, or, alternatively,– bravely trying to force it down my throat in either huge gulps (to try and get rid of the poison FAST) or tiny little sips (trying hard not to notice the horrible bland taste). I would tell myself that I love coffee, and that I asked for it, and that I shouldn'’t be rude, so I “swallow my mistake” and promise myself to have an intimate little chat with the toilet bowl the very minute I get home!

        Don'’t think that I have learned from the experience yet. It’'s just so hard to break old habits. “Coffee” is the perfect way to meet with old friends and to make new friends. I find myself saying "“Coffee at my place?"” or “"Let’s have coffee some time!"” without even raising my blood pressure. In my vocabulary, these phrases are in the same category as "“How are you?"” and “"What’s up, dude?”"

        But what am I to do? How can I change that?

        I don'’t drink alcohol, so I can'’t start saying “"Come for a beer"”. How about “"Hey cute guy, wanna come to my place for a fruit juice?"” That'’ll sound really cool! Or will it? The cute guy will probably think I am some kind of fanatic health freak.

        Or shall I invite people for tea? Water?

        Let’s see now: “"Hey! That was a really nice chat. We have so much in common. We should really have water sometime!"”

        Ok, let'’s not give up so fast. We will replace “water” with “a drink” –- that will spice it up a bit. Or rather… that will spice it up a LOT. And there I am back again to having to explain (in a crowded bar) why I don'’t drink alcohol, and why "“just one"” is still “"drinking”" in my book!

        The fact is, I still like coffee. At home. Where I have control over what goes into the cup! No funny toxic coffee brands from hell! I like proper dark brown sugar, not the yellow kind and most definitely not white. And I like a good full cream milk -– not a watered down cheapy or “2% fat” product and NOT “longlife”.

        So now I am under house arrest. I can’'t exactly go out and visit someone with a list of acceptable coffee ingredients under my arm! And I dare not visit someone and ask for fruit juice instead, ‘cause I'’ll get “Oros” for sure! (or something similar, but also fake). Fruit juice is definitely out of the question, and it would anyway be rude to expect people to cater for my expensive taste in juice. Water is simply not even an option. It’'s really not the most appetising of liquids -– not to mention all the unknown little microscopic creatures that might be lurking in there!

        I still consider myself a mild coffeeholic – but of course I will just have to learn not to “drive and drink”.

        (written by Tiamari)

        Things to do to stop coffee cravings:
        - Lie down and think of the sexy guy at college
        - Mow the lawn
        - Read through your MS Office manuals
        - Play with the dog/cat/rabbit or whatever other furry animal you can find
        - Watch TV
        - Visit the zoo
        - Plant a tree

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