2 May 2014, 10:14 am

        South Africans will Understand by Tiamari


        You call a bathing suit a "swimming kostjim"

        You call a traffic light a "robot"

        The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are

        The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just
        finished watching

        You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather

        You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any

        You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no
        idea what it means in any of them

        You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela

        You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously

        You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State

        You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer

        You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement

        You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car

        You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers

        To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

        Hijacking cars is a profession

        You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

        The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

        More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election

        People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,
        Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given

        "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month

        You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make
        way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction

        Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway

        You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car
        parked where you left it

        A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes

        The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and
        toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

        You paint your car's registration on the roof

        You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a
        government hospital

        You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one

        Prisoners go on strike

        You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car

        You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once

        Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high

        When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Zulu ad

        You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA

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